WHY TROUBLE COMES

Embracing Growth Through Change

© John Thomson  -  The Negotiator ​

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Most people dream of a life of peace and security, yet the world is restless, and the demand for change constantly imposes on a stillness about to be broken. 

 

conflict is the author of evolutionary design, forcing us to overcome fear and embrace possibilities that lie beyond  John Thomson – When It Hits The Fan

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Life rarely grants us uninterrupted tranquillity. Where calm and stability exist, conflict inevitably stalks and encroaches, shaping the landscape of our existence in ways we could not have previously imagined. Nature and life are crafted through ongoing cycles of conflict and adaptation. Each challenge encountered is not merely an obstacle but a crucial component in refining and improving our understanding of ourselves and our world.

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Every disruption carries within it a hidden specific purpose, a lesson waiting to be embraced, compelling us to innovate, rethink our assumptions, demolish our biases and preconceptions, and forge new paths forward. Conflict is a powerful catalyst for growth and change. Through the demand of conflict, we survive, emerge, transform and can adapt to new realities.

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For most people, it is only when they are pushed to their limit and forced to confront their fears and adversity that they ignite the spark of change and later, looking back discover they found the extraordinary resilience of the human spirit and the boundless potential for renewal. Trouble should not be an unwelcome visitor but an essential part of our journey, the key to development and resilience.

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Welcome to the journey where trouble, paradoxically, becomes our greatest ally in pursuing growth and change.  Valued by session audiences and readers as dynamic and influential, Why Trouble Comes is extracted from the Critical Event Management Training Program, When It Hits The Fan, Turning Trouble Into Triumph, which is taught to a wide range of professional in private and business sectors.

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My personal experiences as a Search and Rescue Coordinator and critical event response officer with the Police, and in my profession as a contract, disputes negotiator and critical events manager have shaped my understanding of human behavioural responses to conflict. These responses are predictable and, with guidance, can be entirely manageable.

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Coming, Ready or Not

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Throughout our lives we all face unexpected dynamic challenges. The death of loved ones, illness and accidents happen. They are the uninvited disruptions that demand immediate action.

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Trouble stems from the complex interplay of our individual values, cultures, beliefs, and ambitions, the things that make us unique but often place us at odds with others. Whether through our carelessness, misunderstandings, lapses in knowledge, skill deficiencies, the actions of others or external chaotic events such as theft, fire, natural disasters or a sudden change in our own health, get ready, no one escapes unpredictable trouble and the chaos that follows.

 

Geneticists agree that humans need conflict and adversity to develop and grow stronger communities and societal structures. Anthropologists show evidence that where people adapted, changed, and were prepared to move, they survived and, despite overwhelming adversity, became strong, more sophisticated, and resilient. Conflict should challenge us to think beyond past and immediate environments, leveraging our unique ability to anticipate, imagine, and determine future outcomes. This ability for pre-emption and foresight is a distinct characteristic that sets humans apart from the animal kingdom and is why we have become increasingly complex and able to develop sophisticated concepts and social structures.

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Pessimists see conflict as a ‘jar half empty,’ while optimists see the same jar and consider it half full.  It is not until the jar is viewed as half full that a shift from victim-hood to possible victory is made.When trouble is perceived merely as a nuisance, hindrance or obstruction, it can lead to negative emotions such as frustration, anger, pain, and a sense of loss. However, when viewed as a natural alarm, highlighting areas of dysfunction, vulnerability, or weakness, trouble becomes a powerful reconstructive tool capable of initiating positive and lasting change.

 

Trouble Exist In Every Element Of The Universe

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Human reaction to trouble is universally consistent challenging traditional ways of thinking and causing us to react in unexpected ways.

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trouble is the universe's way of telling you, you must change

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In a heightened state of tension, we engage in reasoning processes, making decisions to observe, participate in, or avoid common daily events that influence our personal world. Our choice of partners and relationships, the goods and services we purchase, and the activities we participate in all stems from what we perceive as rational or logical choices and reasoning. Those willing to explore and take responsibility for the causes of trouble discover values and behaviours inconsistent with their own self-perceptions.

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Referred to as metaphysical reasoning, our abstract thought processes are where most of our fundamental values are created and form the bedrock of our core values and responses, spiritual and religious interpretations, and how we value relationships with others.

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Our response to adversity reveals our true character, testing authenticity and relevance, challenging our external reality and testing our internal vulnerabilities and weaknesses, intellect and emotional capability, revealing who we are.

Trouble is the universe's way of confronting our weaknesses, shortfalls, and vulnerabilities. To become stronger, more confident, and able to embrace change, you must engage in conflict and allow it to uncover more about yourself to enable you to work through rationalisation and find resolution.

 

Chaos and Emergence

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Renowned environmentalist and geneticist, Dr David Suzuki challenges Darwin’s Theory of Gradualism (Evolution), which infers that evolutionary changes occur slowly and steadily over an extended period.

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Suzuki introduces alternative insights from the Chaos Theory, suggesting that universal equilibrium is maintained for long periods while experiencing increasing stress and pressures until the status quo can no longer be maintained before suddenly, and sometimes explosively, chaos erupts, causing significant disruption, damage and the need for reorganization.

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risk and reward are inseparable partners in creation

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Amidst the aftermath of such chaos, new and more efficient systems, values, and beliefs emerge, leading to more robust and more appropriate forms of organization and action. Over time, these new orders also become obsolete, giving way to fresh chaos and signifying a new cycle of systemic transformation.

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An example of this concept can be observed in the cyclical eruptions of Mount Pinatubo.  About every six hundred years the mountain experiences a violent eruption.  The last major event, occurred in 1991 and was catastrophic, resulting in the deaths of 847 people, the destruction of cities, the displacement of 200,000 people, and economic damages amounting to $100 million.

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Following the explosive activity, the earth around the mountain takes on a new shape and form as the volcano subsides into a dormant phase. The land is revitalised, agriculture flourishes new prosperous communities are established however, minor earthquakes gradually increase in frequency and intensity over time, signalling the accumulation of underground stresses and pressure.

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Eventually, large cracks emerge around the mountain and are used to predict the subsequent inevitable explosion with high accuracy. This recurring cycle underscores the universal pattern of equilibrium, stress accumulation, and chaotic release and reorganisation.

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Examining crises demonstrates just how reformative natural events can be. Suzuki identifies several other significant catastrophic events that illustrate the principles of Chaos Theory. These include the extinction of the dinosaurs, likely triggered by a massive asteroid impact, causing a shift in evolutionary history. More recently, a polar shift instigated the last Ice Age, which dramatically altered the planet's climate, leading to widespread ecological transformations and the collapse of the natural sea wall across the Strait of Gibraltar, leading to the rapid infilling of the Mediterranean Sea, which contributed to the desertification of the Sahara. 

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Prior to its infilling, the Mediterranean Basin was largely an uninhabited barren salt plain, while the Sahara was home to cities and agricultural enterprises. The Zanclean mega-flood filled the Mediterranean basin, spawning cities and eventually independent nations that would become the superpowers of the known world, but in turn, caused the Sarah to become desert.

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Such catastrophic moments have been integral to shaping our planet's evolutionary and geological pathways. These events underscore the limitations of Gradualism, emphasizing that significant changes often occur in a non-linear and abrupt manner.

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This perspective explains the dynamic interplay between stability and chaos in the natural world and the rationale for our personal cycles of conflict, resolution and reorganization. As a species evolving within natural universal cycles, geneticists and psychologists identify parallels between geological and evolutionary processes, and human behaviours that underscore the resilience and adaptability inherent in natural systems. Adapting quickly is key to survival and success.

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Preparedness for trouble is critical to its resolution.

 

​In everyday life we should not be pre-emptively anxious or excessively guarded, but we should always be willing to accept that, sometimes things go wrong. A loved one will pass away, sudden illness will afflict us, friends will separate, businesses will fail, accidents will happen, and we will experience conflict with others.

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When we experience external disfunction, it is the result of the internal battle between subliminal intentional design and undesired reality. The arrival of trouble demands transformation and should direct us to use positive, informed action to identify the cause of dysfunction and align our inner values more closely with our personal goals and desires to create beneficial transformation.

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By recognizing the positive role created in times of trouble, we have a unique opportunity to gain a deeper appreciation of our environment and the need for continuous growth and development.

 

Emergence Theories and Individual Growth

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Emergence, a core concept of chaos theory advocates that seemingly insignificant unrelated actions can have profound and far-reaching impacts.

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Referred to as the ‘ripple effect,’ it is explained as the example of the flapping of a butterfly’s wings in one part of the world initiating a complex chain reaction, ultimately influencing wind patterns, potentially leading to the spawning of hurricanes and typhoons.

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This metaphor underscores the interconnectedness and unpredictability inherent in dynamic systems, reminding us that we are all part of a larger, interconnected whole. What you do influences others, and conversely, the actions of others influence and determine your path through life.

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trouble is the mirror that reveals true character

how we value it determines our possibilities

 

The principles of chaos and emergence are not confined to natural sciences but extend into metaphysical interpretations affecting psychological responses and reasoning within individuals and sociological responses and behaviour within societies.

 

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it is not arrogance or ego, but the finest of human qualities, the offer of inspiration and example that through courage and determination, resilience and self-belief we enjoy living a life of daring within the finest margins for error and being prepared to risk failure, we find self-fulfilment and true success  John Thomson

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Intentionally unintentional?

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Two underlying theories exist about the origin of conflict and trouble.  They are in the underlying and unresolved questions, 'is trouble externally generated and arrives uninvited’, or, ‘do we attract trouble as a subliminal intentional precursor to force our attention and focus on the demand for change?'

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Solomon states in his Book of Wisdom, ‘deep calls to the deep; as a man thinks, so he becomes.’ This ancient wisdom highlights the influence of our underlying psychological paradigms and thoughts, which shape the expression and manifestation of our values and beliefs.

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Our mindset and attitudes act as the butterfly's wings, setting a cascade of events into motion that demands solutions and resolutions and can lead to positive or detrimental outcomes. This turmoil then, inevitably drives the unwilling to retreat into mediocrity and solitude or the strong, toward adaptation and change in line with their renewed thinking.

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new beginnings are often disguised as painful endings  Lao Tzu

 

Consider a simple illustrative example: receiving a speeding ticket while driving. The question that requires an in-depth answer is, ‘why are we speeding.’

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One offence might serve as a warning, but repeated offences lead to more severe consequences, such as disqualification from driving and the inability to drive to work, visit friends or engage in family travel, while the loss of mobility proves to be a more compelling deterrent than the financial penalties of the fines. This escalation forces a modification of thought and behaviour.

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Is speeding a butterfly's wings, evidence of the subliminal demand for personal change?

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In an irony of statistics, over 50% of men over forty years of age caught speeding said they had low job satisfaction and were considering a career change, while 67% of women caught speeding said they would prefer to be at home with their children and families.

 

The Industrial Revolution, a time of immense social and economic upheaval, was not just about chaos. It was a period of significant transformation from agrarian to industrialized economies, the rise of urban centres, and the dramatic transformation of labour markets, all part of this transformative process. Out of this chaos emerged new societal structures, economic models, and technological advancements, ultimately leading to improved living standards and unprecedented production and innovation rates.

 

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Subliminal discontent creates restlessness, which can become like earthquakes before a volcanic eruption. The more discontent we experience, the more we seek or demand. The larger the challenges we embrace the more seismic the decisions to change must be.

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Metaphysical interpretations of chaos and emergence encourage us to view challenges and chaotic events not as mere disruptions but as opportunities for growth and transformation.

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The seeds of change often lie in the early seismic tremors, the little things that go wrong and are indicators that require attention. Without attention they continue expand their sphere of influence eventually becoming unsettling and ultimately chaotic, consuming more energy and time than they deserve.

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“A stitch in time saves nine," is a proverb that means, it's better to address a problem as soon as possible to prevent it from becoming more serious.  Minor disturbances should reminds us that the seeds of change are taking root, and that individuals and societies can evolve meaningfully, developing stronger societal relationships and harmony through quick action, adaptation, and resilience.

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risk and reward are bed fellows

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What is certain is that everyone experiences trouble, and for most, they were participants in an event that, because of its unpredictable character, morphed into a monster with uncontrollable elements demanding redefined management of that event.

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It is through the managed union of both elements that a driving force for change is created.

 

 

Out Of The Ashes

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When we examine the cause of trouble, we discover a wealth of information, often hidden behind thinly disguised rhetoric and selfish motivations. Often demanding introspective self-examination of our personal values, ambitions and motivations the process provides unique opportunities to examine underlying bias, and behaviours which are exhibited outwardly in the way our relationships interact with others and our environment. It is through the careful assessment of the origins of trouble, leverage points for intervention and innovation can be identified.

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Despite chaos's inherently uncertain and ambiguous character, we should not fear or shy away from disruptive disorder. We can leverage chaos as a catalyst for revaluation and adaptation, eliminating redundant processes and values and by embracing ‘future relativity,’ stimulate growth and prosperity.

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This process involves:

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• Actively and positively seeking opportunities within a chaos environment, using the energy to move forward.

• Experimenting with novel and personal approaches that create an advantage.

• Remaining agile in response to emerging patterns and staying ahead of the game.

 

By viewing chaos as an opportunity for change and growth, we can leverage the unashamed richness of information exposed within chaos to drive meaningful and transformative change within ourselves, our organisations, and our communities.

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Albert Einstein famously said, "We cannot solve problems at the same level of thinking that we were when we created those problems."   Chaos allows us to change our thinking, trouble demands changed thinking, and out of that thinking comes the power of transformation.

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Trying to change what is happening without changing the inputs that created it is like 'putting the cart before the horse,' which is why many people experience re-occurring incidents of similar characters throughout their lives.

Our desires, thoughts, and actions, no matter how small, can set off a chain of events leading to significant outcomes. By understanding and embracing these principles, we can better navigate the complexities of life, turning potential disruptions into opportunities for growth and evolution. In doing so, we align with the ancient wisdom that our thoughts and actions fundamentally shape our reality, propelling us towards continual adaptation and improvement.

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our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate but that we are powerful beyond measure. It is not our darkness but our light that frightens us most

 

Successful entrepreneur Elon Musk was asked how he achieved so many successes. His response was, "I was prepared to make mistakes and experience loss to discover why something did not work."

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As a species, we tend to see the faults of others, attributing our failures, losses, and pain to their actions and often believing that such actions were deliberate, vindictive, and retaliatory. Such beliefs become an impasse for recovery. Newton's Law states, 'For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.'  So often, in an accumulating cycle of minor factious issues, a small event can trigger a collapse of the social, economic, or emotional status quo.

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Where external events beyond our control force change upon us, such as the loss of a loved one, diagnosis of a life-threatening illness or catastrophic damage or loss of property occurs, recovery requires the same tactical mindset to progress to a higher state of resilience.

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Openness to learning (OTL) is a desirable state of mind characterised by the following qualities.

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• Correctly assess what has happened.

Quickly work out the five 'w's' of the event: where, when, who and why; these five w's give cause to 'what' happened.  Immediately distance yourself from the people (who) caused it; their justification or attempts to remediate almost always exacerbate the situation.

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• Do not overreact.

The higher your E.Q. (Emotional Quotient), the quicker you will correctly assess the situation and the more mature your decision-making will be. Emotional self-awareness, a key component of emotional intelligence, allows individuals to recognise their thoughts, emotions, and behaviours and how they relate to their actions. Emotional self-awareness facilitates accountability, enabling individuals to acknowledge their role in various outcomes and promoting resilience.

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• Take responsibility for the consequences of what has happened.

This is separate from retrospective self-blame and repentance doctrines purported by social and religious demand.  Taking responsibility extends beyond the individual, influencing social relationships and community dynamics. When individuals hold themselves accountable, they foster an environment of trust and reliability.

For example, a mature couple invested all their savings ($2mil) into a new home on a beautiful, slightly elevated rise adjacent to a steep bend in a river, giving them views of the river flowing toward them and away from them.

In a historic weather event, the river flooded and overwhelmed the home, dislodging it from its foundations and damaging it beyond repair. After claiming insurance that did not cover a rebuild, they bought a $500,000 apartment in the city, invested $1 million in the bank, and bitterly complained about their situation, blaming regional authorities and engineers until they died.

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They could have built a brand new, smaller home above the flood line and continued to enjoy their amazing location. They would have been examples of personal resilience and recovery and would have provided a holiday home for their grandchildren and great-grandchildren as they had originally intended.

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I tell clients that life is not fair, easy, or without trouble. ' Play the hand life served you as though it were the hand you wanted.' 

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As previously stated, we live in an inherently unstable world; no one lives forever, and nothing is guaranteed.  Accept, 'this is the way it is,' and that will empower you to discover newfound opportunities, friendships, alliances and self-confidence.

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• Decide to do what is best for you. 

When trouble comes, it is instinctive to talk to family and friends, listen to opinions, and evaluate advice to affirm your intended pathway through the troubled time. The greater your ability to go solo, the quicker you will recover. The saying, 'If you want to go fast, go alone; if you want to go far, join the team,' applies to quick recovery from any critical or chaotic event.

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There will be time in the future to build relationships, recover broken business or employment opportunities and recover lost value, but to lose yourself in stagnation, apathy, and indecision is to lose time living life. In contrast, lacking personal accountability can lead to dysfunction, conflict, and weakened relationships. Diminished personal accountability and restorative action lead to the psychological phenomenon of "social loafing, " where individuals exert less effort when dependent upon social counsel, illustrating the negative consequences of evading personal responsibility.

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• If you do not start, you will never finish.

For five consecutive weekly sessions, he tried to tell me the enormity of the task before him, so I asked, "What have you done?"

His response was, 'I am trying to work it out."

I said, "Then you have achieved nothing, absolutely nothing."

He spluttered and stammered, and suddenly, as though a switch was turned on, he said, "I have to find somewhere to live.  "At the next weekly session, he said he applied for three higher-paid work opportunities, sold superfluous personal assets, caught up on his credit card debt, rented a one-bedroom apartment, and started exercising daily.  Within a year, he would gain access to his children, manage the sale of his family home, and form a new relationship.

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On the last page of this publication, I include the poem "Man In The Glass" by Peter Wimbrow. This poem is glued to the back of my diary and serves to remind me of "who I am."  I encourage you to read it.

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Summary

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While trouble is inevitable, triggering emotional reactions and heightened feelings, troubles does not have to be a long-term source of stress and suffering.

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All progress is birthed out of the restless evolution of societies, cultures and behaviours that demand change. Technology, information services, educational requirements and employment structures rapid evolve and transition, the quick and agile taking opportunity quickly realign and in harmony with the emerging environments ‘fit in.’

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Too often individuals resisting change become embroiled in argument and personal grievance, resisting the inevitable they become disruptive forces upon those they engage with, blindsided by their own state of victimhood.

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When conflict is accepted as a possibility for change, and in particular, reconstruction more closely aligned to our core desires, values and beliefs, answers to complex problems become natural transitions. 

As we venture into the unknown, we discover ‘out of the box,’ abstract philosophical reasoning that helps us navigate these challenges, allowing us to develop deeper insights and understanding about ourselves and the world around us.

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From a positive understanding of inevitable cyclical nature of conflict, we can successfully manage the demand for change, finding solutions that would not have been obvious previously.  Far from being mere obstacles, conflict becomes instrumental in our continual evolution, creating opportunity for a healthier, strong life as individuals and as a species.  Become part of it!

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And finally, in your personal journey through conflict, don’t be afraid to reach out for help.

 

References

• Carson, R. (2010). The Importance of Accountability: Creating Trust in Organizational Culture. Journal of Leadership Studies, 4(3), 55-67.

• Goleman, D. (1995). Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ. Bantam Books.

• Karau, S. J., & Williams, K. D. (1993). Social Loafing: A Meta-Analytic Review and Theoretical Integration. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 65(4), 681-706.

• Pettit, P. (2002). The Common Mind: An Essay on Psychology, Society, and Politics. Oxford University Press.

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The Man In The Glass

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When you get what you want in your struggle for self
And the world makes you king for a day
Just go to the mirror and look at yourself
And see what that man has to say.

 

For it isn’t your father, or mother, or wife
Whose judgment upon you must pass
The fellow whose verdict counts most in your life
Is the one staring back from the glass.

He’s the fellow to please – never mind all the rest
For he’s with you, clear to the end
And you’ve passed your most difficult, dangerous test
If the man in the glass is your friend.

You may fool the whole world down the pathway of years
And get pats on the back as you pass
But your final reward will be heartache and tears

If you’ve cheated the man in the glass.

Peter Wimbrow

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